Hi Rabbi,

It’s the night before my son’s circumcision and I cannot sleep. I know my child is not the first to be circumcised, but I am worried about the lack of anesthesia. Will he feel much pain? Will he be traumatized?

Answer:

I can relate to your worries. It is normal for a mother to worry! In fact, I would be quite disconcerted if you were not worried about your newborn’s health and wellbeing.

Perhaps you can take comfort in the knowledge that circumcision, known as brit milah, has been performed in this manner for over 3700 years, and that it is incumbent upon the mohel, the expert Jewish circumciser, to perform the procedure in a way that will minimize your son’s pain and discomfort.

The Traditional Circumcision

When the mohel performs the circumcision he makes a swift motion with an izmel – a traditional scalpel used for brit milah – which is intended to minimize the pain and discomfort.

Those who stand close to the mohel will notice that the infant usually starts to cry as soon as the diaper is opened, and stops crying as soon as it’s closed. In fact, during the newborn stage, many infants cry anytime they are changed or bathed. The cry is not necessarily pain-related. Typically the infant is calm as the blessings are made over a cup of wine and his Jewish name is announced.

It’s interesting to note that the traditional circumcision is performed on the eighth day of the child’s life when his clotting factor has fully developed, which is optimal for healing. At the same time, the nerve endings are not completely developed which lessens the infant’s discomfort.

The traditional brit milah does not involve anesthesia, as we do not want to cause the possibility of additional complications. Ansthesia can also have negative side effects in such young children.

All said, the brit milah is performed at the healthiest time, using the best method, and it has been documented that complications from a traditional circumcision are extremely rare.

See studies from Lander J, Brady-Fryer B, Metcalfe JB, Nazarali S, S. M.; and Shechet J, Fried SM, Tanenbaum B. J Am Med Assoc 1998; 279: 1170.

The Painful Way

Hospital and non-traditional circumcisions often involve use of a clamp. This method is extremely painful and traumatic to the child as the clamp actually crushes the skin tissue prior to severing it. This painful method is prohibited by Jewish law and does not fulfill the Biblical requirement of circumcision.

The FDA has also issued a warning in regards to using a clamp for circumcision as it can lead to laceration, hemorrhage, penile amputation, or urethral damage.

The Eternal Covenant

Think about the importance of the brit milah which has been observed faithfully for thousands of years, ever since our forefather Abraham circumcised himself at the age of 99.

I am sure when the circumcision is over, and you hold your dear son, you will realize the discomfort is short lived but the results are forever: your child will have entered an eternal covenant with G-d.

Mazal Tov! May we share only joyous occasions!

See The Ritual Circumciser - The “Mohel” from The Handbook to Circumcision - Brit Milah.

Dear Rabbi,

I have been under the impression that “turning the other cheek” to your enemies is not a Jewish approach. But recently a friend pointed out the verse in Lamentations (3:30), “Let him offer his cheek to his smiter; let him be filled with reproach.”

So now I’m confused:

1. Is it or is it not a Jewish value?
2. If it is, how does that jibe with the Talmudic dictum, “If someone is coming to kill you, kill him first?”

Answer:

Don’t Turn The Cheek!

It is clear that “turning the other cheek” to a violent aggressor is not the Jewish way.

King Solomon, wisest of all men, proclaimed:

There is a time to kill and a time to heal… a time to love and a time to hate; a time for war and a time for peace.

Ecclesiastes 3:1,8.

There is no doubt that there are times when it is necessary to battle adversaries.

In fact, throughout the Biblical account of history, the Jewish people were commanded to strike at their enemies, sometimes even preemptively.

For example, in the story of teh holiday of Purim the Jews preemptively killed those who planned in killing them (Scroll of Esther, Ch. 9).

See The Jew's Double Standard.

The Context Counts!

As often happens, the original phrase in the context of the surrounding passage has a completely different connotation than it has on its own. In fact, there is nothing in that passage about an enemy, or being under attack. And if it were not for the word “smiter,” we would not even know that there was another person involved, since the rest of the passage clearly attributes the afflictions to the hand of G‑d.

Let’s examine the prophecy in its context. The Prophecy refers to a crucial point in history when the Holy Temple lies in ruins and the Jewish nation has been exiled. Morale is at an all-time low, and fighting back is not logistically possible. So Jeremiah does not lecture about the importance of self-defense. That would be futile. Instead, he offers hope, comfort and perspective to sustain the Jewish people in exile

There is a debate between the sages whether the book of Lamentations was written before or after the destruction of the Holy Temple (See Midrash Aicha Rabah 1:1). According to the view that it was written before the actual destruction (which seems to be the prevailing opinion), Jeremiah first dictated to his student, Baruch ben Neirah, a dire prophecy that would befall the Jewish nation. This prophecy contained what are today chapters 1, 2 and 4 of the book of Lamentations, and were written in advance of the actual event in the hope that it would arouse the Jews to repent. However, when it was read before the king, he cut up the scroll containing the prophecy and threw it into the fire. Later, G‑d told Jeremiah to rewrite these prophecies adding chapters 3 (the chapter under discussion) and 5 , as it is recounted in the book of Jeremiah ch. 36 . According to the view that the book of Lamentations was written after the destruction, the book of Lamentations that we have is not the same scroll that was thrown into the fire. For more on this see When was the Book of Lamentation Written?

But, regardless of when it was actually written, the book in general, and particularly chapter 3, address the time after the destruction of the holy Temple and the exile of the Jewish nation.

After lamenting at considerable length about his suffering and despair, Jeremiah, turns to hope saying:

This I reply to my heart; therefore I have hope. Verily, the kindnesses of the L‑rd never cease! Indeed, His mercies never fail! “The L‑rd is my portion,” says my soul; “therefore I will hope in Him...

Lamentations 3:21-22,24.

”

He then elaborates on that hope, expressing faith in G‑d’s mercy:

It is good for a man that he bear a yoke in his youth. Let him sit solitary and wait, for He has laid [it] upon him. Let him put his mouth into the dust; there may yet be hope. Let him offer his cheek to his smiter; let him be filled with reproach. For the L‑rd will not cast [him] off forever. Though he cause grief, He will yet have compassion according to the abundance of His kindness. For He does not willingly afflict or grieve the sons of man…

ibid 3:27-33.

Toward the end of the chapter, lest one think that he was absolving the perpetrators of what they have done, Jeremiah calls on G‑d to punish and destroy them:

My enemies have hunted me like a bird, without cause… I called on Your name, O L‑rd, from the depths of the pit… You did draw near when I called on You; You did say, “Do not fear.” …Requite them, O Lord, according to the work of their hands. Give them a weakness of heart; may Your curse be upon them. Pursue them in anger and destroy them from under the heavens of the L‑rd.

ibid 3:52,55,57,64-66.

”

It becomes clear that the remark about “offering the cheek” is not said in relation to confrontation with an adversary. Rather, the remark is made within the context of hope and consolation.

A True Lesson from This Verse

According to Rabbi Moshe Alshich (1508–1593), the verse, “It is good for a man that he bear a yoke in his youth,” means that when a person is afflicted with tragedies in the physical world, the person should remember that G‑d is all-merciful and good. The purpose of one’s suffering may very well be in order that she or he will receive a greater reward at a future time, in this world or the next.

Rabbi Moshe Alshich in Devarim Nechumim on Lamentations ibid.

Rabbi Moshe ben Nachman, Nachmanides, explains that mild suffering in this World can save one from severe judgment in the Coming World.

In his introduction to his commentary on the book of Job.

And Rabbi Schneur Zalman of Liadi compares the physical-world spiritual-world parallel to the sun and its shadow. Anytime the sun moves, shadows on earth are altered. To us, thousands of miles below, the change may be so slight and gradual that we hardly notice. But something big is going on in the galaxy – the sun is in orbit. In the same way, the goings on in our world are a reflection and result of the goings on Above.

Tanya, Iggeret Hateshuvah ch. 12.

So the instruction, “Let him offer his cheek to his smiter; let him be filled with reproach,” is a guideline for attitude in the face of adversary. We are expected to receive our afflictions with the knowledge and belief that all G‑d does is ultimately for the good, even if the purpose is not apparent.

According to Rabbi Isaac Luria, the Arizal, when we adopt this attitude towards our suffering, we will merit to not actually suffer at the hands of those enemies.

Likutei Torah of the Arizal on Eichah 3:30; see also the Rebbe, Rabbi Menachem Mendel Schneerson, Torat Menachem 5710 p. 184.

See Anger Management 101.